


You could be my only star.

by imSOOintoDO



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imSOOintoDO/pseuds/imSOOintoDO
Summary: Is it true that you always meet people just in time when you need them the most?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 10





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an ongoing fic. suggestions are always welcome. Hope we enjoy this journey together!

The thing about living your life is you don’t know if you’re getting it together or ruining it all at once. 

Kyungsoo should have known, that in this part of his life, he is ruining it all, most likely creating havoc upon himself. It is usually said that when people look for inspiration, they turn to arts, but who does the artists turn to when they are the ones needing it. Not that Kyungsoo considers himself as an artist, but his manager, Baekhyun would say otherwise. So to politely quiet him down, he’ll just agree. You see, Kyungsoo is a writer. “Your words express emotions, it may just be in black letters, white pages and not something you hang on the wall, but you make people feel, thus it is art too,” his manager, would say.

Kyungsoo used to have this infinite number of scenarios he have in his mind, playing like a movie, unfolding into scenes. Then the words would flow out naturally. He’d write from the morning until night, from days to weeks, he’ll write until he cant.

But not this time. His mind, for the first time in a long time, is quiet. No words, no scenarios, no concept maps for the flow of stories. Silent. Empty.

He feels lost right now, he chuckled to himself as all of his career was built on the premise of love. Something he didn’t even believe in right now, something he’s almost sure doesn’t exist.

All I took was that Chanyeol, his boyfriend for six years, decided one day that he doesn’t love him anymore.

He didn’t know that they would actually be breaking up. But he was not that naive to not know that they were falling apart. But he kept it to himself. Cause truthfully, he doesn’t believe that they can be apart. How would one picture that in their relationship, they were a perfect couple. How could one just decide that they don’t want to do this anymore. He was ready to lay down everything for him at any given time. Hell, he even delayed two book releases for him, that was his whole career at risk . He was there for everything, for his early morning pancakes, for his spur of the moment travels, for his consistent whines and laughter, and that was his whole heart on the line.

Apparently, all these were not enough, when one of you says let’s not do this anymore. The falling out of love bullshit. He doesn’t want it anymore because everything that you could offer is not what he wanted, not even a portion of it. That no matter how you give them all of you, it will never be enough because that’s not what they need. You could lay down your life for them, but they will still turn their back because it’s not enough.

He tried to fix it, God knows how hard he tried. To be around, to hold both of them together until he just doesn’t anymore.

He asked why a lot of times, only to get apologies as an answer. He never needed im sorry, he just wants a reason. Well as fate would have it, he learned about the reason, a few days ago. Truly, you find answers when your learned to stop looking for it because it will just come to you naturally when you’re not looking. Ironically, the answer came because he saw them. Chanyeol walking hand in hand with a man Kyungsoo recognized as Chanyeol’s officemate, Tao . Chanyeol barely acknowledged him, but he also never wavered eye contact with them. And Kyungsoo read through it, Chanyeol was not in any way regretting their break-up. He knew Chanyeol enough, to know what those eyes speaks. He recognized it as the grateful look he has when Kyungsoo finally gives in to what he wants, which was in their happier moments, a favorite meal or just kisses in public, but at that moment, it was a thank you for his freedom.

“The concept of relationship is give and take. The thing with you, Kyungsoo is you always give. At this moment, take everything you need, please take your time,” His manager told him yesterday after he found him still lying in bed at 11:15 in the morning surrounded with all the empty beer bottles, opened cups of ramen and unfinished take-outs. In his kitchen are unwashed dishes, he didn’t even know that he left his television playing a random movie in the living room. Near the door of his bedroom, are crumpled papers from his failed attempt at shooting it in the trash bin. Baekhyun picked some of the papers, opened it and sighed. “And this time too, give everything to yourself. You deserve that much,” his manager continued as he exited his bedroom. Kyungsoo knew what he read on those papers. Nothing. Not even a word.

He tried to get back on his track last night. He just wants to feel something again, who would have thought that being numb is as tiring as feeling it all too. He ended up on a Pinterest pages for positivity quotes. Maybe he was really that desperate. He was crying then laughing when he realized that all those were complete bullshits. At the end of the day, one might memorize all this positive rhyming quotes, but you would still face all your inner battles alone. No one would ask, what’s your quote or motto in life, this is not a beauty pageant. This is real life and not as fantastical as that. And sadly, maybe all this quotes are really just good for wallpapers.

Baekhyun emerged in his room with a cup of chocolate in his hands.  
Kyungsoo received it with both hands and said, “Thanks, but its lunch?”  
“You’re welcome. And im sorry for that, my little prince, your pantry is empty. Not even a ramen or a biscuit. Your kitchen doesn’t show any sign that there is a human living in this apartment,” Baekhyun answered while trying really hard to clean up a space for him to sit on the bed.  
“Well maybe, there really isn’t,” Kyungsoo muttered.

Baekhyun sighed and smiled at him. Baekhyun never even offered him that kind of smile when he debuted and sold only a few thousand compared to the published copies of 20,000. He gave Kyungsoo a supportive smile those times. This time, it was just sadness in a smile. But he knows that at least Baekhyun understands.  
Baekhyun then said, “Go out Kyungsoo, at least out of this room. Or just get a shower, or even just change your clothes! How many days do you plan to do this.”  
“Brave of you Baek to asume that I have any plans.”

Baekhyun shifted his position so he’s looking at his eyes now and said “Kyungsoo, look. You have the choice on what to do with your life. Our life is a fucking casino. You gamble. The cards are still laid out in front of you. Pick one and then go with that. Chanyeol may have cheated on you. He even may not have. That was his choice, how he played his cards. Is he all that matters? How about your career? Your family? Your friends? How about yourself?”

Kyungsoo gave out a small laugh and answered, “Isnt it funny how we always say that we have the choice on how to play this so-called cards in life, but we never got to choose what deck we will be playing. It’s just unfair Baek, how some people got it perfectly and how the shitty one ended up with me. So, Yes baek!”  
He’s shouting now.

“That’s what matters most. Because every day of my life now, I’m gonna have to ask myself why am I not enough. Why the fuck my whole being, every inch of me, is not enough for one person to stay. I’m gonna have to look myself in the mirror everyday and ask what can other people do that I can’t, what do they have that I don’t? And you know what hurts the most Baekhyun? I already gave Chanyeol the best of me, I can’t do better than that. And surprise Baek. It was not fucking good enough. So yes, that’s all that matters,” he continued.

He finally broke down. All these days that he felt numb, now he understood as him only pretending. Here he was, crying in his bed at lunchtime, probably pathetic but mostly in despair too. It took him a while to admit, but he’s not okay. Hell, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be okay again. He’s so broken right now, he just knows he will never be whole again.

He didn’t realize that he was shaking so much from sobbing until he felt how tight Baekhyun was hugging him. Like Baek was afraid he’s gonna shatter like glass any minute. “It’s not okay now Soo, but I promise you, with all of my being, it’s just for now. We’ll get there. We’re still here Soo. Me, I’m still your bestfriend. Suho hyung, he is still our editor but we both know he’s more like a brother. And your family, Soo. I’m sure your mom will still make the best kimchi rice when you go home . You also got us from playing those cards from your deck. Chanyeol was just the Joker. Thank God, a deck has more than 50 cards, right,” his manager said, crying with him now too.

He felt himself calm down a little. Baekhyun was his friend since high school. The one he was with while bullies try to take money from him in their school lobby, the one he first admitted to that he was actually into guys, the one who saw all the progression and regression of his relationships. Baekhyun’s words may not really be a dialogue he would like to put into his book someday, but really, he was just thankful that his best friend is with him now. Maybe he still made enough good deeds in his life for him to have Baekhyun as a friend.  
“Live Kyungsoo,” He added while gently patting his hair, “Take a vacation, go home to your parents, if you want you can stay at my place, anything but staying in this apartment.”

And that’s why he’s in the town’s oldest library at seven in the morning, a day after his conversation with Baekhyun from last night. Doing the exact opposite of what his manager told him. He was really just about to go back to his hometown today but when Baekhyun told him to do it, his mind just flipped and switched. Then, he doesn’t want to do it anymore. It may be his pride or whatever shit in his body being a Capricorn and all that, but being told what to do really doesn’t sit well on him, yes even after an emotional rollercoaster ride. Thank God, that thing didn’t change in him, he chuckled at himself as he sits down on the seat in the furthest corner, near the windows, as sunshine slowly creeps inside it.

Books around him brought him some comfort though. This has always been his place of solace. There is always something unexplainable, almost magical in the library. The sound of pages turned, the scribbles of pencils, closing of books, weirdly brings peace to Kyungsoo. Like everything is alright and is right where it should be. This library is old, no computers yet, and manned with a very strict librarian, which doesn’t really appeal to teenagers hooking up in the middle of bookshelves or as a hide out for some addict to get high in. There are fewer people here, mostly elderlies or college people really immersed in their researches. In short, Kyungsoo’s type of crowd. The kind which doesn’t give a fuck about him because everyone is already busy holding up on their own.

He’s running his fingers along the titles of the book he’s planning to read today. He doesn’t really have any plans or expectations with regard to his work today. He may write or he won’t. But he’s surely hoping it would stir up something he inside him so he can actually have a plot, or even just a scenario to play with.

It’s already almost an hour and a half but he can’t concentrate. He kept on rereading whole pages just because he knows that he didn’t understood anything that it said. And this actually screams that something is wrong. And it irks him that he couldn’t understand what’s wrong. He decided that maybe it’s the book, maybe he needs another genre right now. Stacking the books carefully, he proceeded to put them back right where he got it and carefully chooses what to read next. It took him some time because the Suspense/Thriller books from the author that he wants, occupies the top shelf. He may get a ladder for him to use but that would require dragging the metal ladder from the other side of the library. And his anxiety is telling him that its not a good idea because he may anger a lot of people due to the noise it would make. And then they will whisper about him, take pictures and caption it rudely.

“Stop overthinking.” He scolds himself for thinking way too much about a ladder. “Just take the goddamn book.”  
He really just took the first three books that he could reach. Careful not to drop them and cause any unwanted attention.  
“Self, even in just getting book, you’re overthinking. This is why your always tired,” he tells himself.

While he was walking back to his table, somehow he now understood why he was being uncomfortable. Apparently, there is now a gentleman, seating in the table next to him who is openly staring at him. As if studying his every move. He slows his pace so he could study him for a while. Brown hair, brown eyes. Tanned skin. Nice nose and perfect jawlines.  
“I’m going crazy. I just described him as beautiful,” he said to himself.

He turned to hide himself behind a bookshelf but where he could still look at the man. The guy now has his eyebrows up, as if thinking if he’s caught. Kyungsoo’s head start to ache, while his heart began beating fast. Adrenaline is rushing in his blood now. “What if the man is a robber?” Their place gives a robber a good chance to do their plans as it is a little secluded from other people. “But I could always yell if he tries something funny. Or I could go home now. What if he follows me?” Thoughts are now racing in his head. When he looked back at the guy, he caught him staring at his pouch that he left at the table. Unfortunately that pouch, contains his apartment keys.

“Oh Shit. Fuck this.” Throwing all sense outside the window, he marches toward the guy.

“If your gonna rob me, I am telling you right now, I only have 20$ in my wallet and my phone is not even the latest model that there is. So save your energy for someone else,” he paused, “That came out wrong. Actually no, save your energy to do something else apart from robbing. Hopefully something nice. Ask the elders if they need help in finding some books or talk to the librarian, he was also eyeing you so I think he can also see whatever your intentions are.” Kyungsoo said to the man in a very aggressive voice he didn’t know where he got.  
He was blabbering, he knows it. But he’s very irritated too. And he let it control him. So much for being a heart over mind kid.

The man took a short glance at the librarian which was actually also looking at them at the moment, as if waiting for them to make a sound so he can shout at them to be quiet.  
“Also, stop being a pervert,” He added.  
“I am not a pervert!” finally getting a reaction from the man.  
Kyungsoo widened his eyes at him.  
“What? I was reading, taking notes and actually not disturbing anyone,” The man emphasized his last sentence as if taking a jab on him. “I am literally being an angel here.”  
“You were staring at me,” Kyugsoo alleges.  
The man actually laughed at this point and said “People who stare are robbers?”  
Kyungsoo then answered, “Staring is rude. Also you were staring for quite some time.”  
“I was just wondering if you were Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo was startled. Great. Now he pissed off a man who has enough knowledge about books that he stumbled upon his works. He could now just imagine the comments if this confrontation goes out in public. How words may be twisted, how actions may be exaggerated.  
But its too late to back out now. Pride winning over sensibility he then demands, “And what if that’s me?”  
“Then, Do Kyungsoo is rude,” the man answered in a way that he’s very sure of himself.

Kyungsoo actually rolled his eyes on this and said, “You were checking out my ass, for God’s sake.”  
“Then God probably also knows that I was actually just checking if you could reach the top shelf cause obviously you were having a hard time reading the titles in the top part,” the stranger replied.

“Woah? And in this conversation, you have the audacity to call me rude? Are you hearing yourself?” Kyungsoo said, disbelief in his voice.  
“Well, im not the one to come up into a stranger and accused them on being a robber and a pervert.” Said the man.

“You were looking at my pouch!” Kyungsoo demanded.  
“I was contemplating if you went away already and left your pouch. I was thinking if you have any contact numbers inside it so I could text you that you may pick it up from the librarian,” said the man, who though obviously amused by everything, is actually remaining calm. They were looking eye to eye now, as if with a silent agreement that the first one who looks away will lose. It was Kyungsoo. And he hated it. He was startled by the sudden appearance of the librarian.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” the librarian then said.  
And as Kyungsoo looked up to defend himself, he also noticed how a lot of the people are looking at him now. He doesn’t want any issues right now, he have enough of those. That he has a ghost writer, that he’s an alcoholic, that he got anger issues. There’s even an article stating he’s a divorced man with three kids that he left behind to fend off by themselves. So with a loud sigh, but with head still high, he picked up his things and walked to the door, not caring about all eyes that were on him as he was doing so.


	2. 2

Being a bad bitch but having a conscience and a big heart is a really bad combination. Kyungsoo would never recommend it. Because right now as furious as he is, he actually knows that he was in the wrong this time. Its his stupid pride who has gotten the best and therefore brought up the worst of him a while back. He’s too embarrassed now, he didn’t even know if he would shout about it or cry. But tears were already forming in his eyes. God, all he do now is cry. And now its even because of stranger. He’s pathetic at this point. Add to that the fact that he’s actually sitting in a small convenience store right now, and is probably getting judged by the cashier as he’s staring ad glaring at the water bottle in front of him for too long. 

So he did one of the last thing he would do if everything is okay right now, he called Baekhyun. It might be a bad idea, but hey, Baekhyun really made some points last night, maybe he can spare on his braincells again today for him.

It was bad and didn’t really do well, Baekhyun is scolding him right now, which means that he was right all along. “What I get from this Kyungsoo, was that he explained his side well and you, being the dick you are, chose to engage him in a staring contest and you were kicked out of the library. Call me again when you decided to stop being a baby.” Then the line went dead.

Oh well. He fucked up. That’s not new. He can’t be guilty about a being bitchy to a stranger and at the same time, mend his broken heart. He can’t do both, he’ll have to pick just one struggle, Kyungsoo thought.

He glanced around the store to look for something to eat, he badly wants ice cream now. So he decided to get two tubs of it and when he was about to pay he saw some mini figurines of penguins and bears on display. They were too cute for Kyungsoo to just ignore. It actually somehow made him feel lighter and he can feel his smile growing. He went out of the store with the ice creams and figurines and maybe a little more judgment from the cashier. It was A little expensive, but who cares. To anybody that says you can’t buy happiness, maybe they really just don’t know where to find where.

Later that night, Baekhyun called to check up on him.

“How are you now” his manager asked worriedly.

“I had better days” he answered nonchalantly.

Baekhyun sighed and said “You know that at some point you actually have to continue your life right.”

“I don’t know Baek. I don’t think I owe the universe anything after everything that’s happened to me,” relpied Kyungsoo.

“No Kyungsoo, not for the everyone else, just for you.” He was silent for a while. So Baekhyun took the liberty to continue speaking, “Don’t worry about the incident today. We will get it covered even at the smallest mention of your name or a picture of even of your shadow. Okay? Rest now, Kyungsoo”

But the scandal never materialized. There were no hashtags or trending topic about it. Maybe things were looking up this time. Cause after all when everything is down already, there is no other way but up. He knows its gonna be a bumpy way but he’ll take the ride.

As an old man stuck in a young man’s body, that’s how Baekhyun always describe his indifference towards the so-called modern technology, he really prefers researching through books. He likes them printed, wherein he can underline them or encircle the words he deemed important.

That is why he decided to go back to the library after almost a week. The librarian saw him and just shrugged at him. That’s nice enough for Kyungsoo, he was expecting him to never allow Kyungsoo again in the library, probably with a poster that has his face in it saying No entry.

After some quiet time in his apartment, Kyungsoo thinks that he may have a plot. Finally.

He’s toying with the idea of a medical practitioner, an ambulance nurse or an ER Doctor. If money was never a problem he’s sure that he would take medicine for college. Biology is always something that stirs he’s curiosity and the way the body works always amazes him, the blood circulation, the reproduction of cells, the growth of a baby inside a human being. He even reads scientific journals once in a while and in the back if his mind, there is always a tiny spark of hope of still becoming a part of the scientific community. He may never become a doctor so this is the way that he thinks as close as he could get.

His works may be fiction but there really are some things that he needs to get right so he’s looking for books that discusses wounds, concussions, its causes and treatments, the different stitches and the like. He also about to get some books about blood, just in case he may change direction in writing and make it about supernatural beings, yes, about vampires. His planning to just take out the books and read it in his apartment. That’s where his office is, and he’s drafts so it would be easier. Also, he’s not forgetting the incident from last week.

And there he was, the whole accident. The whole brown hair, brown eyes, nice nose and perfect jawline incident. He still had conflicting emotions about what happened, but if there is one thing he’s sure about is that this guy entered his mind once and never really left.

He may be a mess buy he knows what beautiful is when he sees one. The man didn’t seem to notice him so Kyungsoo decided to leave it at that.

Kyungsoo was starting to question his luck with universe for the nth time, as he found the books he needs in the top shelves yet again.

“Fuck short genes,” He muttered under his breath.

“Need help?” he then heard from beside him.

Warm voice. The warmest one he’d ever heard if he may say. And he knows from whom it may come from. He heard it first, in this same place last week. He really just chose to ignore it and not add it to his description of this man as he couldn’t believe this man is close to being perfect.

He glanced at the direction the voice come from and he’s not wrong about the owner of the voice. Its him. Usually with other people, their close proximity would already annoy him, but apparently it’s not the same with this man. And to make matters worse, he’s heart is beating so fast now.

He will try to justify that part later as the stranger is looking at him right in his eyes with brows a little bit swayed upward. Oh yes, he asked a question.

“Yes please”, he said, almost in a whisper. Even though theres no other people in the library now, as it is near its closing time.

“Which one?” the man said while browsing through the titles of the books displayed. Kyungsoo noticed that he squinted his eyes a little to read them and unfortunately finds it endearing.

“That one, 3rd book from the left,” Pointing at the book he needs, accidentally further showing he really needs his help in reaching for it. He hates it.

“Got it, anything else?”  
“Yes, the 2nd book to the left from what you just got.”  
What is wrong with Kyungsoo. Good manners and right conduct would tell him that he should say sorry for what happened last week. After rethinking about it for a hundred times in his apartment, he could admit that it was in fact, all his fault.

“Wounds and blood types?” The stranger chuckled and added, “Are you perhaps a vampire?” Kyungsoo was in the middle of contemplating if he’s gonna answer yes or no. of course he isn’t. But where would be the fun in that.

“If I am one, I would just levitate or turn myself into a bat,” Kyungsoo answered wittingly.  
The man looked shocked that he actually went on with the joke and said, “I really don’t think they could do that.”  
“Then it sucks to be them when your short because your books are in the top shelves,”  
“Technically, they really do suck,” The stranger laughed while responding, like really laughed that Kyungsoo was afraid they will be thrown out of the library again. He doesn’t care though. He may just have witnessed the most beautiful laugh, and he knows he’s not exaggerating.

“About what happened last week,” Kyungsoo started saying and the man turned to look at him, when they both heard a “ting” from a bell. The one that the librarian rings to warn the people that they will close in a few minutes. In this case, its just the two of them.

“Well I think that’s our cue to leave right,” the stranger said and flashed him a smile, a genuine smile it actually reached his eyes.

“You have a really nice eye smile,” Kyungsoo suddenly said.  
The man was startled, “Sorry?”  
He didn’t know why he said that, truth be told right now, he really almost felt sorry too for saying it.

But whatever embarrassment will have to be dealt later as they heard again the sound of bell. This time a little more increasing in succession.

The man broke their awkward silence and said, “Think the librarian’s in a hurry tonight.”  
He answered yes in almost a whisper.  
“Go check out your books now, We don’t really want to be in the wrong footing with the librarian again, don’t we?”  
Oh so this man haven’t forgotten yet what transpired last week,. Of course he wouldn’t.

The man was already starting to walk back to his table most probably to pick up his stuff and return the books he read.  
Kyungsoo did not hesitate this time and said, “Wait, about last time, I want to say sorry”  
The man was about to reply when they heard again the bell ring and this time in a very aggressive way that made both of them look in the direction of librarian.

Whatever it is they were both holding were in slammed in the floor in seconds. They run as fast as they could to the librarian. Apparently the bell ringing were more than just a warning for the time, it was more od a cry for help as he is obviously in pain and is having difficulty breathing,

“Oh shit,” Kyungsoo said as they reached the librarian. Oh sehun, his name plate read. His breathing is already shallow, his face very pale, he’s also sweating way too much.  
“Are you a doctor? A nurse?” the man suddenly asked him.  
“What? No?” he replied.  
“Then why were you needing those books for?”  
Trying really hard not to roll his eyes, he answered with, “Aren’t ordinary humans allowed to do so?”

He was about to give another snarky reply when he saw the stranger pulling off his coat and rolling his sleeves.  
The man then told him, “Call 911 then. He’s almost out of breathe, i’m gonna give him CPR”  
“Do you really know how to do that?” Kyungsoo asked because truth be told, Kyungsoo thinks he can’t.  
“Do you have any brighter idea? Cause I got none. Anybody else here who can do it?” Stranger even raised one of his eyebrows at him, as if challenging him if he can do it. “I’ll take that as none, I guess that’s just me then.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t believe that one minute they were actually in a friendly almost bordering flirty conversation and then next, they are already in each other throats giving each other death glares. How did he even think that this guy is perfect. This guy is an asshole.

With that new realization, Kyungsoo pulled out his phone immediately and called 911. He’s still not even finish giving out directions where they are located when the stranger started giving the librarian CPR.

Two full breaths into the mouth then 30 compressions, hard and fast. That was the routine. The man was not saying anything except those numbers. He’ll pause for a while, as if confused with what number he’s already in, but he will quickly snap back to reality and resume. Kyungsoo observed him more, he definitely knows what he’s doing. He thought to himself.

Its Friday so the responders may actually been caught in a traffic jam, or even in another accident that’s why their taking too long to get to them. This would definitely be added to the reasons why Kyungsoo hated those Friday night, end of the week party. And next time when Baekhyun will ask him to join them clubbing, this situation will be his excuse, and it’s a legitimate one as he can see now.

The stranger was also very sweaty now and visibly tired already. Kyungsoo is actually scared he’ll faint too. So, as if to distract the stranger from it, he decided to count with him too. His voice, although shaky is actually louder than him. And Kyungsoo doesn’t know if its so the stranger would not faint or if its for himself to keep his sanity cause clearly he’s thinking too much.

Kyungsoo counted with him, looking alternately between the stranger and the librarian, until the ambulance arrived. There were about two nurses who barged into the door carrying the very bright orange stretchers. After quickly assessing the librarian, he was deemed clear to be stable enough to make the ride to the hospital.

“You did well. His pulse is weak but it’s enough to keep him alive. He’s young, so I think his body was also able to handle the emergency. I think it was an allergic reaction. Good you were here with him,” one of the responders said to him.

“It wasn’t me. It was actually my companion,” he politely said. Stealing a glance to the stranger resting in one of the tables, looking very much worn out while still trying to catch his breath and regain composure. All this time, the stranger’s eye were just following the librarian, as if making sure that the responders are really taking good care of him.

With this, Kyungsoo was the one who answered all the EMT’s questions,

No they aren’t related. No he didn’t know what food he has eaten for the past hour nor meds hes taken. Their just here to borrow books.

Kyungsoo actually felt guilty that he cannot provide any useful information for them and the responder may have noticed it that’s why he just dismissed him after a few minutes.

“Thank you for your hard work, you kept someone alive today,” the responder said as they were leaving.  
He made a quick bow while saying thank you too and watched them go. He also sent a quiet and quick prayer for the librarian, even though at this point he doesn’t really know who to believe in, he just knows that there’s someone out there looking out for the welfare of all, he wished that Sehun would be okay after everything that happened.

He looked back at the stranger who was with him to experience it all too. Still looking tired but with relief painted all over his face. So Kyungsoo, despite his messed up beliefs, sent another prayer. This time a thank you that he wasn’t alone.

He was about to leave, deciding to just go borrow the books on his next visit although he must admit that checking out the books even though there is no librarian around was considered in his head many times, when he let his curiosity win over.

“What’s your name,” Kyungsoo finally asked.  
“After all that, what’s your name is all that you can say?” the stranger said.  
Kyungsoo felt shy all of sudden so he said, “Well, if your still wondering, I’m not a doctor or a vampire, I’m a writer.”  
The stranger smirked and said “Interesting. I’m Jongin”  
Without even taking the hand that was offered to him, Kyungsoo walked to the door.

And he was not wrong about the Friday night. There is heavy traffic, loud conversations in the street, even the convenience stores are crowded, and two people went by him who are very much intoxicated. With a loud sigh, he started walking home.

The road, even though a little far from his neighborhood, is actually quite familiar with him, thanks to all his trips to the library and his constant search for a cheap but delicious restaurant around. This place is popular with college students, most of whom are broke, that’s why its not hard to find one which serves good food with a lot of servings too. With this confidence, Kyungsoo makes some turns into small alleys near the dormitories for students going to universities around this area to take some shortcuts. But as it turns out, most of the students are out tonight that’s why there’s almost no light coming from the buildings. Also its very quiet aside from the purring of cats and their fight with metal trashcans.

On a ordinary circumstances, Kyungsoo would have been afraid, but tonight is not normal. He has a lot of things to think about. The first one, and the last one but Kyungsoo wouldn’t admit it to himself, being Jongin. That was a nice name, its actually suits him, he thinks so. Before he could allow himself to reel about his smile, he also thought about how he failed to apologize about what happened last time which as per conversation earlier was not forgotten by Jongin. Then there’s his sudden walk out just a while ago after knowing his name and not bothering offering his own. He was just so embarrassed about how completely useless he was during the emergency and if not for Jongin, Sehun would have not survived with him alone.

“Shit, now I owe him two apologies,”he murmured under his breath.  
He suddenly felt short taps in his shoulders. He froze. He heard all the news surrounding this area. How people got beaten up or sometimes killed when they refuse to give money. Suspects are students and are still minors that’s why police really have a hard time in catching them. That’s why for Kyungsoo, his first thoughts were this will be like when his grade school bullies were taking his lunch.

“You didn’t tell me your name,” a voice said as he turned around to face whoever was in his back.  
It was Jongin.  
“You followed me and almost gave me a heart attack, just to say that?” Kyungsoo said evidently stunned.  
“Why are you always assuming? I did not follow you, okay. I live at the apartment in the next corner. Three story building. Ask them for unit 328,” the man said, annoyance clear in his voice.  
“Then why didn’t you approach sooner?” challenged Kyungsoo.  
“You know what, I don’t even have an answer for that,” Jongin smiled, as if really resigning to that fact that he doesn’t know what to say. “I don’t know actually. I was nervous, I guess? I mean, you walked out on me twice already.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to be shocked, technically it was true but he didn’t mean to at those two times.  
“My name is Kyungsoo,” he answered felling guiltier now.  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin repeated. “Its nice, you really look like a Kyungsoo kind of guy.”  
“Know a lot of Kyungsoo?”  
“No, just you actually.” He laughed again, the kind of laugh that makes Kyungsoo want to hold his cheeks tight.  
“Goodbye then Kyungsoo. I’m just gonna go ahead first then, so you wouldn’t have anything to say about me following you,” Jongin said while teasingly looking him in the eyes.  
“Goodbye Jongin,” he managed to blurt out.

He was enjoying some last glance for Jongin before he turn right at the corner of his dorm, when he felt, yet again, another tap on his shoulder, but this time , he can initially say it was not a friendly tap as it was followed by a sharp tool touching his stomach.

“That was quite a young boy to be your boyfriend, mister,” a young man said as he turned Kyungsoo around to face him. This guy couldn’t be more than 22 yeas old, one of those thugs the police warned them about. He wants to complain about not being old enough to be called Mister, but demanding to called hyung isn’t really what he needs to do right now. “Not gonna blame you tho, that was a looker,” he added as he pushed Kyungsoo into a wall and grabbed his chin that forced Kyungsoo to face him.

“Oh your pretty too. Right Tae?” he asked another young man, that Kyungsoo just noticed for the first time.  
“Don’t worry, we won’t touch your face. Will keep it pretty for your boy lover. You just have to share with us also what you give to him.” Kyungsoo struggled to break apart from his hold but to no avail. The young man was taller and obviously stronger. Not to mention that they are two.  
“I’ll hold him, search his pockets,” The man instructed the other young guy.  
As Kyungsoo was about to faint due to very tight grips on his arm and neck, he heard someone call his name.

“Kyungsoo?” All of them turned to see who the source of voice was. It was Jongin, Kyungsoo may already be half unconscious at this point, but he’ll recognize that warmth voice at any state his in.

The two young boys were taken aback by this that caused the grips on him to lighten and the search for his wallet to halt. As he was catching his breath, he sees Jongin run towards them and lunge at the guy in front of him. While all this were happening, the other guy, the one called Tae, was also retreating back.

“He’s scared too. Maybe its his first time doing this,” Kyungsoo said to himself.

“Go run, I wont report you.” He told the guy.  
“I’m sorry” was the only thing that Tae managed to say to him.

“Tae! Where the fuck are you going? Help me,” His companion blurted out, and with that Kyungsoo turned his attention to him and Jongin both rolling in the pavement, fighting for dominance. The stranger already got two bruises near his eyes while Jongin is still free from any scratch.

The guy might have realized that he’s not winning and he’s alone that the next thing Kyungsoo knew is he stabbed Jongin in his left stomach, the same thing he almost used with Kyungsoo, then quickly ran away from them when he grasped what he’d done.

Kyungsoo paid the stranger no more attention and quickly got to his feet

“God Jongin, I can’t believe I have to call 911 twice tonight. With you involved in both situations.” He said in between breaths.

He went to kneel beside Jongin and look at his wound.  
Only to find nothing. There is only an obvious cut where the knife scratched him, but there’s no blood. Its clear. Kyungsoo couldn’t move. There should be even just reddening of the part where the knife touched Jongin’s body. This is impossible.

“Jongin, If this is one of those fraternity pranks, I swear I’m gonna do it myself and this time its for real,” He said, while also looking up at Jongin’s face. It was kinda of dirty after their brawl on the ground, but just like his stomach, its clear from any wound or bruise.

But what was more unsettling was how Jongin is looking at him now. Like he’s gauging his reaction to what is happening. Kyungsoo should be the one doing that, assessing the scene and all, because Jongin got stabbed.

Or was he really.

“It’s not a prank.” Jongin finally managed to say. “Kyungsoo, are you okay”

“What even are you?” Kyungsoo asked as he slap Jongin’s hand that was about to touch him.

“Well like the one I’ve been telling you since the first time, I’m literally an angel here.”

Silence for both of them. Dead as the night. Somewhere, someone is singing a Buzz sing in the karaoke. And that’s somehow the only reason Kyungsoo knows that this is reality.

“Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo,” Jongin started to shake the short man’s body. “Kyungsoo, can’t you see me anymore?” the man said almost pleadingly. “You’re the only one who can actually see and talk to me. Or you make me visible to some. Those youngsters really punched like their angry with me. Did it change when I told you” the man added, but this time, its almost directed at himself.

Upon hearing this, Kyungsoo looked back to all the times that they were together, the weird glances directed

at him only at the their first meeting at the library, the way that he was the only one who was asked to leave the library, the fact that the responders just interacted with him and of course, there’s no blood in the part of Jongin’s body where he was supposed to be stabbed.

Kyungsoo looked Jongin in the eye, still speechless and in utter disbelief because truly what the hell is happening, “You’re a fucking angel?”

Jongin actually had the boldness to smile at him and said “I really wouldn’t use those words together, and I’ll say yes, but only to the angel part.”

“Doh Kyungsoo, what happened to the picking of just one struggle,” Kyungsoo mentally curses at himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you really for making it this far. Again, comments and suggestions are welcome! Especially kudos! Hehe. Talk to me at Twitter? @imSOOintoDO ☺️☺️ 
> 
> Again, with you in this adventure,   
> -imSOOintoDO


	3. 3

Signs. Its supposed to help you. But what if all the signs point to yes but you want to badly cheat through it because you want it to be a No.

It’s what Kyungsoo exactly feels as he remembers all his past interactions with Jongin, words from his mouth just alternate from Shit and Fck. And for the third time, he walked away from him.

He tries to rationalize this. If he’s a writer and this was a scene, what would be happening. Someone would have fainted and they wake up not remembering anything, he’ll then cue the amnesia plot. Or simply, one just would say that it’s a prank and turns out that one of them is a kidnapper, maybe he’ll make it about Stockholm Syndrome. In reality, it should be everything is a joke and he should just laugh about it. His life truly is really one big joke right now. Apparently life is still not finish fucking him up. He wonders how he stays sane. Probably maybe he’s really crazy right now.

“I should have never told you, right?” a voice beside him materializes.

He ignores him. “Do crazy people know that they are actually crazy. If he actually acknowledges that he’s crazy, would that make him crazier,” he thought to himself silently, grimace evident in his face.

“Please. If youre just gonna lie, just don’t bother talking to me.” Kyungsoo said at the owner of the voice beside him. “Also we are way past your apartment. Stop following me before I call the police.”

“I don’t live there.” Jongin answered in a whisper, head bent down low.

Kyungsoo stopped walking and faced him.

“See, you’re a liar. You said so yourself. You were stabbed with a knife. I saw it pierce through you, you felt it too.” Kyungsoo snapped at him.

“Not the way you do,” Jongin replied.

“The way I do? What does that mean?” Kyungsoo knows he sound desperate now.

Jongin finally found the courage to look him in the eye and said, “The way a human does.”

“What are you, really.” Kyungsoo replied, now fully resigned to confusion.

“An angel.” Jongin answered.

“You actually expect me to believe that?” asked Kyungsoo, fighting the urge to curse at him and roll his eyes.

“Yes, I don’t lie.” Answered Jongin, looking away but with voice still full of conviction.

“Then what about your apartment then? Apartment in the next corner. Three story building. unit 328,” copying the way Jongin narrated it to him earlier.

If Jongin was surprised that he remembered the apartment, even the numbers, he didn’t let it show much. He said, “I used to live there.”

It was now Kyungsoo’s turn to be surprised but he didn’t relent. “You actually know that between the both of us, I’m the writer. I’m the one supposed to make up stories here.

“Well, uhm yes? I read two of your books in the library”, Jongin said oblivious to the point Kyungsoo is trying to make.

“You know what Jongin, maybe you’re sad or bored that’s why your doing all this. Okay? I forgive you now. Even if you haven’t even apologized. Also, tell that to the two of your buddies a while ago because obviously this is all for your show.” Kyungsoo said. “I surrender,” he even put his hands in the air.

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin straight in his eyes and continued, “I’ll get going now. And please, I’m actually begging you, please leave me alone. Don’t follow me.”

As he turned away, he spots a small convenience store nearby. He remembered how during the first time he saw Jongin he also ended up on a convenience store, and here he is again. Same kind of place and same face that haunts him.

As he was picking his ice cream flavor, he can’t help but notice the three ladies looking at him once in a while. Judging them quickly, they actually looked pretty harmless, aside from the fact that they all have different hair colors that doesn’t seem to blend well together. And when he was paying, one of them actually approached him.

“Hi Sir, are you perhaps drunk and got lost in our area?” one of them inquired, the red haired one.

Another girl, one with black short hair, looked at him from head to toe then said, “He looks too sober to be drunk. Unless you’re someone who can handle his drinks really well.”

“What? And on what impression did I give you to assume that I was drunk?” Kyungsoo asked. He doesn’t even know if he should be offended or what emotion he should feel.

“We saw you before entering this shop, you were talking, no, you were almost yelling by yourself.” The black haired girl said, still clearly examining him.

He couldn’t believe it. By himself? Jongin was way taller than him, its impossible for them to miss him, Kyungsoo thought.

“Also, you keep saying Jongin.” the green haired one finally spoke up this time. “Are you his friend? Lover perhaps, and you are missing him?” she continued. They giggled together with their high pitched laughs.

“Jongin?” he said.

“Yes the guy who died, maybe a year ago, or was it two?” the black haired answered, with the quaetion directed to the one with the green hair.

“I think its two. Wow, time flies.” red haired girl answered. “I heard he was really close to the landlady that she even banned anyone from occupying his unit again.”

“Yes, we were in the same apartment building. Sometimes I get goosebumps when walking pass by Unit 328, but it’s not the bad kind. It’s actually more of a sad one. Jongin was well known for being one of the kindest boy in our building. Everybody misses him.” Said the green haired girl to her friends as if forgetting Kyungsoo was there.

He can’t fully grasped what he just heard. Were they referring to the same Jongin that he met, the one who claims that he’s an actual angel? Before the girls bombard him with another set of questions, he then said to them, “I’m sorry, but maybe you just have misheard me. I was talking to someone on the phone that time, we were arguing about some things in work.”

“Oh adult stuff.” Girl with red hair said, face full of dismay.

“Yes. Something like that. Good bye”, and with a bow, he quickly dash to exit the place.

He was trying hard to calm his breathing when he heard him again.

“Well, I didn’t tell you that you’re the only one who could see me because I thought you already figured it out. Apparently. Not. So yeah, again, technically you are the only who can see me.”

“That’s bullshit. How do you explain those robbers seeing you and having a fist fight with you. You even rolled to the ground with him” he challenged.

Jongin shrugged as if this was the most normal conversation they can have and said, “I don’t know about the guy who ran away first if he really saw me. But the one who held you, I don’t really know Kyungsoo, my theory is since you were looking at me when he touched you, and then you could have made a connection between him and me.”

“I don’t believe you.” Kyungsoo said in almost gritted teeth.

Jongin was clearly unfazed and said, “Come on Kyungsoo, you, yourself said that you are the writer between the both of us. Out of all the people in the world, shouldn’t you be the one of the first person to believe this? Maybe this part is what you call, plot twists.”

“I believe I also clearly said that you should leave me alone.” Anger is now imminent in Kyungsoo’s voice.

“I don’t really have a place to go to.”

“That is not my problem, Jongin.”

After a few seconds of silence, Jongin finally said, “You know why you’re the only one who can see me Kyungsoo?”

“I don’t really care.” And he starts to walk away. Again. And this time, he didn’t even bother to count if for how many times he did it.

“You see, Kyungsoo, this is a two-way thing,” Jongin said while slowly walking up behind him. “The only reason we can see each other is because we both want to. I wanted to see you because I’ve read some of your books, but believe me that I never expected you to come bolting out of that library door anytime soon. But for you? You may not want to see specifically me, but deep down, you, yourself wanted to be seen too. You’re so lonely deep inside your soul that the only thing you want is for someone to be with you too, you’re actually so desperate that you’re almost begging for it in your heart. You just want someone to be there, no one in particular, someone who’ll just acknowledge you. So since it’s a mutual want to see and be seen, it formed a bond between us too.”

At this point, Kyungsoo stopped walking and faced Jongin, moreover he stopped trying to understand whatever that is happening around him.

“Please just leave me alone, I don’t want to see you.” He was begging now, he could clearly feel tears starting to form in his eyes.

And for the first time since they met, it was Jongin who walked away. Kyungsoo tuned to into the other direction, continuing silently his long walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waaah. Thank you for being here! i really appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> -With you in this adventure,  
> imSOOintoDO


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